Call It What It Is: Naming The Harm In Our Community

At Trime, we are engaging in important conversations around domestic abuse and gender-based violence (GBVA) in the Albanian community. These topics are complex and may be interpreted differently from person to person. To create a shared understanding, we want to clearly define these terms and provide context grounded in research and data. This inaugural blog post is intended as a starting point for open discussion about issues that deeply affect our community. 

PART I: HOW DO WE DEFINE THIS?

Let’s begin with some definitions. 

What is gender based violence?

Gender based violence is any violence that is committed against another person because of their gender. It can happen to people of all genders, but disproportionally affects women and gender non-conforming people. 

Many different actions fall under the category: domestic abuse, sexual violence, femicide, stalking, human trafficking, and genital mutilation, to name a few. 

What is domestic abuse?

Domestic abuse is a pattern of behaviors used to exert power and control by someone in a close or intimate relationship with the victim. 

There are many different types of domestic abuse. Oftentimes, when domestic abuse is present, multiple types of abuse are happening simultaneously. Control is the common thread across all forms of domestic abuse.

There are six different forms of domestic abuse: 

• Physical abuse 

• Psychological abuse 

• Emotional abuse 

• Economic abuse 

• Sexual abuse

• Coercive Control

PART II: HOW SERIOUS IS THIS, REALLY?

In 2019, a survey outlining the details of the pervasiveness of gender-based violence in Albania was published by the UN. The study found that 53% of women ages 18-74 have experienced gender based violence in their lifetime. Specifically, 47% of women who were or had been with a long-term partner experienced domestic abuse.

It was also found that women who experienced non-partner violence as a child were 2x more likely to experience domestic abuse as an adult. A similar survey was done by the OSCE in Kosovo the same year, where it found that 54% of all women experienced abuse at the hands of an intimate partner since the age of 15. Women who experienced child sex abuse were also significantly more likely to experience gender based violence as adults.

Based on a 2023 media report, since 2010, at least one woman every three months has been killed by a male partner or relative. 

There isn’t  any research statistics on the prevalence of abuse among Albanian women living in the diaspora. This doesn’t mean that abuse doesn’t exist elsewhere. The cultural norms and practices that allow abuse to persist in the homeland migrate all across the world. 

Additionally, some circumstances may exacerbate abuse in the diaspora, such as isolation from support systems, language barrier, fear of threatened immigration status, and lack of culturally competent resources.

Why is domestic abuse so persistent in Albanian culture? 

In Albanian culture, family is everything. Family ties are strong, and traditions follow a patriarchal structure, where men hold the authority. There are strict gender roles, with women expected to be ideal mothers, wives, and daughters. 

A system of honour and shame governs all family dynamics, where each individual’s actions reflect on the entire family. Bringing shame to the family is the worst thing you could do. Within this system, women may feel compelled to remain silent to “keep the family together”. Divorce carries a strong cultural stigma, leading many to normalize or excuse abuse as a part of marriage. Fear of community ostracisation or familial rejection further discourages women from speaking out. 

Non-physical forms of abuse often go unrecognised, and even when abuse is acknowledged, it is viewed as a private matter rather than a community concern. Yet abuse affects the entire community. It is reinforced by cultural norms and thrives in silence, and community silence is the loudest. 

PART III: WHAT DOES THIS LOOK LIKE IN REAL LIFE?

To answer this question, we want to go into some examples from Trime: Voices Unheard. 

This is a series where our hosts, Lejla and Leonarda, read out stories that have been submitted to Trime anonymously by listeners. 

We invite you to watch the video, think of what you have read in this blog post, and try to dissect the story with ways you see different types of abuse on display in these personal narratives. 

“He made me quit my job”

“I was abused by my father & my partner”